I'm feeling somewhat better since I quit yelling at myself for having (conflicting) feelings and just let some of it spill out... I've spent the past hour or two dancing around while I cleaned my room. Which, come to think of it, Tracy would approve of... The clean and the dancing.
I know it's not over, ever... I'll probably sink under again. but for now I have my heritage firmly back in place, and I feel capable of taking down any obstacles. I am going to live. even with this, I am going to live.
~me