it's a fairly frightful thing to reach the point where you've taken *so many memes* you begin wondering (but aren't *quite sure*) if you haven't taken and posted this exact meme before. that said, I'm almost positive I've taken this before. and that the result hasn't changed. and that it still isn't a country. but what the hell.
You're
the United Nations!
Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long way to go. You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of beating each other about the head and torso. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result. But your heart is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.
face="Times New Roman">Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid
other points of (dis)interest:
I'm doing everything in my power to learn how to juggle, by which I mean, I'm practicing somewhat. impressively, I have passed through the rather significant block of "I don't want to *learn* - I want to *know how*" that keeps me from, you know, playing the cello, speaking a zillion different languages, knowing Sign, and a few thousand other things I can't even remember right now.
Listening to - especially older - Ani always throws me for a loop... somehow, I manage to forget just *how* fantastic a cd like Dilate is. how much her lyrics rock, et cetera.
Speaking of which, my brother is about to become a full-fledged rock star. By which I mean, I'll no longer have to tell people that he is. The tour venue marquees and shit will do that for me. Eeee!
The weekend's griefish mood hasn't entirely lifted, but I have this odd sense of optimism, nonetheless. Something the doctor didn't dare mention but confirmed when I let it slip. I feel like I'm making progress - and, even more impressively - that I might *continue to do so.* Hunh? This is me? Total weirdness. Along with it, I'm sort of going over my friends, internally, and realizing how awesome you are all over again. I know people who do the sorts of things I do, or want to do, or aspire to do. I respect the things my friends are doing, and/or the ways they're doing them... I have hope that I can live the way I want to because so many of you are living parts of it. And...because...I'm starting to... *cough*hush-hush*cough*
Yesterday's session went alright. I expected to talk about the sadness that came up over the weekend, but didn't push to do so, and we actually ended up talking about a few other things that were... weird. The last one was important. Right-now-important, I mean. It's all important in the long-run, or so I choose to believe. We talked about the fact that my "I can't commit to anything - opinion, label, anything - because then if something changes, everyone will know that it has, and what I thought before and what I think now will both lose credibility because, gasp, I changed. Or grew. Or gained a new perspective" has infiltrated the whole I-like-girls-thing and making it unnecessarily difficult. I don't have any desire to be straight. I have only a small amount of (fear-based) desire to quit liking girls. I believe it's less cut-and-dry than gay, straight, or bi. and that doesn't change the fact that I'm freaked about telling my family, most likely during that first week of December, because I feel like this whole thing will scamper away afterward, and then... well, fuck. But now the doctor knows it, and plans to talk about it with me. He also knows that I'm probably going to tell my siblings over the NY trip, which I hadn't mentioned before. And that my mom is way too ok with the whole thing (blessed problem, no?) which she knows and he probably had guessed. Oh, my mom. I love her, really. I like her, too. But telling me you told my no-longer-alive-as-Webster-defines-it grandma that I'm gay (something I haven't actually said, mind you) while sitting at her kitchen table is not appropriate lunch conversation. She claimed it wasn't a paranormal experience, too, which I found amusing in an "omgwtf?!!" sort of way. Apparently, she associates paranormal experiences with a certain heightened energy experience this ...er... phenomenon lacked. I told her it doesn't matter how normal it is to her; it's still paranormal. And I didn't know I needed to put an "on either side of the veil" clause into my "please don't tell anyone" request. Erg.
On the upside, I was right about my grandma being totally ok with it. Mmm. I miss my grandma. I thought a few times over the weekend, while I was being sad, that I want to go visit her. I want to go visit her, and I can't, and I'm sad.
But, um... Mom says she expects Grandma's coming to New York with us, so... I guess that'll work. (Parents are indisputibly ODD.)
And no, I'll have my relationship with my grandma in my way.
Oh, and... I have not written over 22,500 words for this NaNoWriMo schtuff everyone else is busy with- which would leave me a couple days behind but not in bad shape, if I were actually participating. Of course, if I had written about 22,500 words, and my "novel" had officially ended, I'd be in trouble. Unless I pointed out to myself that if no characters and no plot didn't get in my way, an ending certainly can't stop me. Such weirdness I would be experiencing, if I were writing a NaNo...
~me