grr.
my blue hair is having issues. as in, it's becoming not blue at a rate that would threaten most Olympic racers. (there; I referenced the Olympics - can I go now?) I do not understand why this has to be so difficult. *six months* before it was dyed, that freaky streaky incident, and now this bullshit. I mean, it's like two degrees of separation from SILVER. which I would be fine with, if an acceptable amount of time had passed since it was originally dyed, if I were preparing to have it redyed, having gotten my money's worth, etc. what is up with this??? blue hair cannot be this difficult. and I understand if this friend of my mom's doesn't have experience dying hair blue and somehow it's confusing him - like he has weak dye or something... I don't know - but I really am ready to just say, "Ok. Where can I buy dye? I am learning how to do this myself." because honestly, it'd just be better that way all around. I *miss* the DIY aspect of hair-having; I'd prefer to dye it myself... except I think it won't look as good or something. which is ridiculous because, hi, look what's happening now. on top of which, it's still bleached and everything from last week... (obviously)... so it really wouldn't be too hard. I say, having no hair-dying experience. but what the hell? I can follow directions. I already have the cut I want. (and I could learn to do that myself, after acquiring an electric shaver-thingie like the one my mom *just threw out* - damnit - and possibly another mirror.) I really don't want to offend my mom's friend, and I find myself defending him because he is so cool and so good at what he does (in terms of cuts and styles and such)... and now I'm thinking, he probably reminds me a bit of my brother - who's always agreeing to do anything for a person, and then when he can't quite pull it together, he can't exactly *say* that because of his anxiety and because he's so sorry - and I'm *constantly* defending John. not so much anymore. he's better at saying no then he was, so he doesn't end up in that situation so much. but I *was* the one who defended him when everyone else treated him like shit and said he couldn't be counted on for anything (which is total crap.) but anyway. one thing I do not need to be doing right now: defending the past behavior of my brother as transferred to a friend of my mom's by pretending I'm ok with (and/or taking personal responsibility for) the fact that my hair is *barely* blue. after one week.
so goal number one will be to track down decent hair dye and - how about for my birthday?... that'll be Friday because my mom's off Friday (she's not off Saturday, and regarding this I am really upset - what the hell am I going to do with myself, alone on the day that's supposed to be more important than my "actual" birthday?) - fix this shit. and then I'll ponder a delayed goal number two: how to make it clear to Stephen that I like him, that I'm not upset, that I loved what he did (it just didn't stick, and I just really do like doing my own hair) despite the fact that I didn't come back for a third try. I just feel like a third try (on top of being annoying) would feel more awkward than doing it myself. I mean, it's one thing to re-do it once. but to re-do it twice in less than two weeks? oy. no. no, I say!
hair-dying isn't impossibly hard, right? I mean - this IS something I can do? with my lovely assistant, Mommy? damnit, I just want this to work. and I can't wait until the fall when I'm in NY, hopefully being kidnapped by hair-dye afficionados. damnit.
the only other plan I have for the weekend is to finally get a feather boa. other than that, I'm wide open for a surprise party full of trans-border guests. oy. maybe when I turn four I'll be able to have a not-just-in-spirit party...
maybe when I turn four, I'll have blue hair. (no! bad thinking! I will have blue hair when I turn three, and it will look smashing with my brand-new feather boa!) ::squishes all resistence under her toe::
::dissolves into Lucy-like whine, hoping Heather won't mind my borrowing it:: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
~me