I'm in here somewhere. just fucked by depression and stress... and oh, what do you call them - FEELINGS. godds. heard from Stacy today, which helped. responded to a really difficult message from Brea, which may mean we're becoming more like peers, but is still rather impossible to swallow. ever watched the person who made you want to live struggle to do so? what else... not calling Jenna. the energy it can take not to call Jenna. having "my hair turns blue today!" turned into "I'm missing a birthday party for my dad today; my hair supposedly turns blue next Sunday." being really pissed at my parents but unable to do anything without my mom. knowing that if I don't go outside today, it'll be the third day in a row, and no, I didn't get outside five days last week. oh, and, the pharmacy won't give me a day's medication because even though I need it (so you know, I don't flip out anxiety-wise and end up with the migraine from hell) and have been on it for a zillion years and simply didn't realize that I needed doctor's approval for the refill, simply *called it in* a little late for that... it's not like it's heart medication.
not at all like heart medication. obviously I can lead a normal, healthy life without any intervening pills.
I want a hug, some meds, my doctor, my friends, and my own apartment where the walls aren't white.
:lipquiver: :sigh:
~me