I didn't write this one. I ganked it from surveycity.
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1. Who are you? the collection of stardust commonly referred to as Mary Brave
2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? I love with a loyalty that can be downright draining, I come from Wisconsin even though I first went there when I was 16, the people there are my life because they gave it back to me, I'm a proud dork, and I don't follow directions.
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? filling out 2500 question surveys, conquering the lj comments section of friends, obsessing (happily), obsessing (unhappily), going to therapy, having a fit, reading, watching (bad) tv, or sleeping.
4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). Top classes: lit/lang (8th grade esp), AP psych, physics, sci-fi, gothic novels, algebra (I, II, and "functions".) Bottom Classes: creative writing (suck), AP Euro (class = awesome, subject/ testing/ homework, etc = ultimate suck), and Honors Fucking Geometry with Evil Incarnate. I had another nightmare about her last night. that's the first in a few years.
5. What is your biggest goal for this year? Seriously - learn to be more social. And deal with the sexuality schtuff. Dorkily? To learn still more about Harry Potter, stay amused, crochet something larger than a scarf, read a ton of good books, and cuddle often.
6. Where will you be in 5 years? 5 years, 5 years. on a plane from NYC back home to Wisconsin? and planning my eighth (dear godd... could I ever be that old?) birthday party? love willing!
7. What do you want to be when you grow up? myself. (duh.) in terms of what I want to do - I want to help people who don't know how to tell their story/ live their life do so, using what I've learned and have yet to learn, and without going insane with sympathy. basically? I want to give other people what I was given.
8. Are you more child-like or childish? I'm child-like.
9. What is the last thing you said out loud? "I usually do lunch after." Yup. Ended with a preposition and everything.
10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? you know, I honestly can't think of one. the chorus of "Out is Through" comes to mind - I've been listening to "So-Called Chaos" (oh, that'd work, too) a lot lately. "Spineless" (also from that album) is having a huge effect on me, but it doesn't describe my life. just touches on some things.
11. Have you ever taken a martial arts class? no. I've taken other arts classes. do they count?
12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? we're hoping for an overall trend toward "better" - but what we see is a weird spiral-y thing that's better and worse and better and worse and just INSANE.
13. Does time really heal all wounds? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. who sold you that lie? time doesn't even exist, sweetheart.
14. How do you handle a rainy day? it depends on the state of my seratonin. if I'm doing well, I love rainy days. if I'm in the bad place, they make it more difficult to pull myself out of it.
15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? well, losing my luggage - because it would be something I'd actually have to deal with... where as I would find some way out of sorting out tangled holiday lights.
16. How is your relationship with your parents? in general: upwards of good with my mom, and a really decent try/ lot of love with my dad. and right now I want to claw at them both. but you know, it's a feeling.
17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? I'm sorry; I was distracted from answering this question by everything going on around me. And inside me. And inside the people/ objects around me. Right.
18. What is the truest thing that you know? home is the ultimate cure.
19. What do you want your life to be like, as the future takes clearer shape? erm... Harry Potter meets 28 Days?
20. Have you ever been given a second chance? um, did you notice I'm alive? right. so, that'd be... a few thousand chances I've been given.
21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? I give a lot. because I care a lot. and because I care a lot, it means a lot to me that I also receive. and sometimes I give to myself. so how're you going to label that?
22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart? dude, my heart can CLOSE?
23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? three-way tie: evil, temporary-deafness-causing earaches, migraine, and being starved. and you know, some emotional stuff is physically painful.
24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? oh, damn. loss. people-loss. so: Tracy's death, Dixie's death, leaving Rogers, friend's illnesses... not necessarily in that order.
25. Who have you hugged today? I think I've hugged my mom. the days blur sometimes...
26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? that I know about? my mom (she took me to therapy), my doctor (he did silly nothing-things with me), and Roo (she left me comments.)
27. Do you have a lot to learn? probably. but I have a lot to teach, too.
28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? how to play the cello (and afford owning one), photography as an art form, and either Spanish or Sign
29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? I remember what people say and do based on how it made me feel.
30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? er... essence of lime and - no, wait. willingness to be open, having space, boundaries, 'quality time', respect, integrity, damn hard work out of what-other-choice-could-I-possibly-make love...
31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? THREE? I get THREE? ...Live. Love. Go home.
32. what three things would you want to die to avoid doing? this question sucks.
33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? I think I get more riled up about mental health rights, eating disorders, and suicide than anything else. (though I don't know - gay rights and women's rights are definitely up there, too. human rights!)
34. What does each decade make you think of:
The 19..
20's: flapper
30's: er... er... black-and-white people listening to radio
40's: swing dancing
50's: leave-it-to-beaver family life (my dad's hometown)
60's: peace signs and tie-dye
70's: flared pants and activism
80's: a whole lot of commercialism goin' on
90's: best. decade. EVAH.
2000: except that this one will be better.
35. Which decade do you feel you belong in and why? this one - because this is the one with me healthy, and self-aware, and knowing Rogers. (+ my family)
36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? p'shaw; I could never tell you a favorite. ONE favorite: "Paper Moon" as sung by Nat King Cole.
37. If you could say any sentence to the president of the usa what would it be? oh, wow. well, there's, "Fuck you, you fucking fuckity-fucked self-righteous moron" ... or I'd like very much to just sing Gina Young to him. if he had to follow what I said, I'd tell him this: "If you stay out of my government, as well as any other positions of power in any country, and if I never-ever see you again - especially in the media - you do not have to die."
38. What's your favorite tv channel to watch in the middle of the night? mindless entertainment channels
39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? I'll just justify the first one who came to mind: I'm Ursula (from the Little Mermaid, you poor deprived people) because I'll do it all for voice. (i said you don't need my voice girl you have your own...)
40. Have you ever been a girlscout/boyscout?... yes. I was a boyscout. but they kicked me out because I wasn't prepared, and also because I was gay. oddly enough, they didn't kick me out because I wasn't a boy. ...yeah, ok, I'm lying - so what?
41. If you were travelling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? I'd like to travel by boat, but I don't think I could last very long. da plane! da plane!
42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? it's not black OR blue; it's all an ILLUSION... mwa ha ha.
43. What does your name mean? star of the sea, drop of the sea, sea water, saltwater ... or, if you like brutal Latin: *bitter* (one of the few things I'm rather bitter about)
44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outerspace? ocean deeps, assuming I could breathe and would not make some stupid human mistake resulting in a real-life Finding Nemo... (Finding Nemo's not real life? huh? wha?)
45. Word association
what's the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:
air: breathe
meat: ew
different: euphemism
pink: panther
deserve: I!
white: dove
elvis: gyuh
cilantro: metallic (and all the friends who had to work at continuing to love me upon finding out I don't like cilantro)
heart: heart!
clash: guitar
pulp: papermaking
46. If you could meet any person who is dead and famous who would you want it to be? dead and famous. wow. erm... oh, duh to the nth power. Mr. Rogers. :cries:
47. What if you could meet anyone alive and famous? so many... Tori Amos is obvious... Joanne Greenberg pretty obvious... Rosie O'Donnel not too out there... I can't think of anyone surprising! ooh! I'd like to meet Calvin and Hobbes! ...nope. also obvious.
48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? Finding Nemo. 28 Days (except some days it's too hard to watch. then again, so is Finding Nemo some days.) Fried Green Tomatoes, Good Will Hunting, Monsters Inc., 8 Femmes, Whale Rider. School of Rock. looks like I could set up some sort of weekly schedule.
49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? I bring tools and books on elevators to get myself the hell out of there. I bring relaxation techniques for claustrophobia... I bring crochet projects. I bring music. and I bring a working phone that won't die.
50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? the latter. well, and the former - since I saved my own.
51. Make up a definition for the following silly words... no silly words to define! damn you, survey-tease!
52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? a sandwich
53. What was your favorite toy as a child? "favorite" is not in my vocabulary
54. How many tv's are in your house? 1
55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? sit with friends... or climb on the ropes course at Rogers
56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? like the rainbow is enough. (no, not really, but hell, that'd be cool.) usually, I feel Kermit stir up inside me and start to sing...
57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? parts of dreams, yes. this is not cool. because the dreams where my parents are secretly hiding truckloads of Ben and Jerry's from me but I discover the hiding place do not come true. the icky ones come true. so I'm always worried and such.
58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? other than my mom? no. (wait. does visiting one of my mom's friends count? did I have to be seeing this person specifically for their psychic or tarot reading abilities?)
59. What is your idea of paradise? Rogers. bigger. no sickness (anywhere.) and everyone I love there, happily, with everything we need.
60. Do you believe in heaven and if so what is it like? see question 59
61. Do you believe in Hell? most people I know believe in hell not so much to keep them from doing things but enough that after doing things, they'll say, "I'm so going to hell." I find this odd. and I don't know how to answer, personally - because although I don't believe it existed before people believed in it, and I don't believe anyone has gone or will go to hell... I think it's "real" in that it's a powerful myth. I guess. or, if you like, "yes. it's called having a fatal disease while taking geometry from Her."
62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? I've painted all ten toenails with wite-out. and not out of boredom. and not just one time.
63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? probably recovered... working to not hate myself was pretty damn kind. if I treated anyone the way I used to treat myself...wow. but erm... no. I do lots of kind things. in the moment. y'know. no point system or hierarchy...
64. Are you a patient person? well, I'm a patient. and I'm a person. and I would answer this question, but I need to get onto the next one.
65. What holiday should exist but doesn't? Everyone Is Miraculously Cured Day
66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does? Columbus Day (or how about Casmir Pulaski day? eh? eh?)
67. What's the best joke you ever heard? So, there are these two apples baking in an oven. And the one apple turns to the other and says, "Wow-ee, it's really getting hot in here, isn't it?" to which the second apple replies, "Ahhhh! A talking apple!"
68. Where is the most fun place you have been? it's all about the people ... I had a great time at city fucking hall or something because I was with Silje there
69. Is your hair its natural color? damnit! must you rub this in my face! I've been TRYING to fix this since April! it WILL BE BLUE!
70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? With whom? I don't really "keep secrets" much these days (especially not the deep dark variety) but I also don't feel inclined to tell everyone everything as it's happening.
71. What is under your bed right now? boxes full of "shit I probably don't need but cannot yet de-bond with" and a punching bag
72. If you were in the land of oz would you want to live there or go home? that depends. do you mean home-home? or do you mean Kansas? and if I'm going home-home, I'm taking my friends with me.
73. If you drive do you frequently speed? I drive people crazy pretty quickly.
74. What is the world's best song to dance to? I so can't think of anything. "Come on Eileen"?
75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? the last time I danced I was demonstrating for my brother that I learned all my dance moves from Carlton (off The Fresh Prince) - and there wasn't any music playing... outside of my head ("it's not unusual...")
:>
~me